Thursday, November 10, 2005

I hate weddings

If it were upto me, I'd ban marriages altogether for a long time. I was at a stinking wedding tonight. We left home at 9:30 pm when I was told we were leaving at 8:30 pm, housewives stink. The baraat left the groom's house at 10:30 pm after lots of video shooting. They were filming the newest tragedy/comedy film.
The wedding was extravagant in terms of expenses. The groom's family are goldsmiths, so no shortage of money, and money was really spent like crazy. That, after the recent earthquakes, and the women were complaining that it was too simple a wedding and a lot had been cut off. Yea, right! The world would be a better place without these women.
Their were fireworks as they finally left the home. Then, there was traffic problems. To cut the long story short, the unfortunate documents were signed just before midnight and we had dinner. What I liked was that the groom's family were giving out itr (perfume) to the guests. The dinner was tragic. People stormed the meal as if they had either assurance that this was their very last meal, or they had been hungry for months. I hate the way people behave on the dinner tables at weddings. Even educated people. They'd push people around to make it to the dish, secure the serving spoon, take out biryani, notice that no spoon is available on the chicken qorma dish, so they'd reach out over the neighbor's coat clad arm, hopefully dirtying it in the process, and serve the qorma with the same dish, and if possible, use the same spoon for everything else. If the dish happens to be "not up to the mark" they'll confiscate the spoon and hold their ground waiting for the server to fill it up again. And there's lots other mess. Then there is further shooting of that tragedy/comedy which goes on till early morning. And when they finally kidnap the stunningly beautiful bride (thanks only to the twenty four hours spent at the parlour) of the ugliest possible groom, there are hours of further shooting and customs execution. Geez, weddings stink. Cant we just be simple. Sign the stupid papers, make the vows, say the prayers, good night. No, sir, that way, we wouldnt be able to piss off the entire remaining nation.


Sabrina Malik said...

I hope you will set an example when its ur time :D

Muhammad Saqib Ilyas said...

I'm trying to. I told my mom the way my wedding will be and she brushed it aside swiftly. Women! Always have to take out their "armans." Nonetheless, I'm still going to fight till the last bullet. In fact, I am considering the feasibility of running away a day ago if demands are not met, or if I am decieved and discover it on the spot, then refusing to sign the document. I am weighing the practicality of possible lines of action. Let's see. Ideas are welcome.

Sarfaraz Ahmed Soomro said...

do it secretly??

Muhammad Saqib Ilyas said...

Hmmm. Lay k bhagna. Not a bad idea. However, there is one flaw. Even if I do convince my timid fiance to elope with me somehow, which is impossible because all communication channels are closed, once we do decide to surface with the revelation, the families would force us to do a charade wedding reception. Since, we would be culprits by that time, we would be doing it on others' terms, which would defeat the purpose.
On the other hand, if you are talking about eloping with someone else, that's an entirely different story. There is still the risk that my mother would force me to do a second marriage to the girl of her choice, my fiance. Even if I were to do this, I dont have any candidates. Any volunteers?

M Shoaib Sheikh said...

Referring to your first comment on this post sir...i think signing the document is the matter to be seen later.First you make oral acceptation then you sign document....And dont forget that you are quite used to saying Gee Acha :P