One line humor

Here are a few one liners that I stole from a mailing list:

• Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
  
• Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
  
• Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
  
• I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash
  
• A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
  
• Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent
  
• Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
  
• You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it
  
• Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
  
• Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
  
• My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
  
• Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
  
• Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
  
• A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
  
• You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
  
• It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
  
• Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
  
• Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
  
• Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
  
• They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!