Thursday, July 14, 2005

Ode to Karachi Traffic

To all the morons who fit in any of the following categories, I have a message that follows the categories:
- Those who turn right from the leftmost lane
- Those who turn left from the rightmost lane
- Those who recall that they need to turn precisely when the turning is 90 degrees to the right or left
- Those who turn without an indicator
- Those who turn the indicator on after stopping to turn
- Those who drive three feet into the road they want to join, thereby blocking an entire lane, and stay there (you might as well move on because you've already caused the incoming traffic to stop)
- The rickshaw walas
- The minibus walas
- The big bus walas
- The Suzuki pickup which Allah himself has forbidden to drive anywhere but the fast lane and has directed it to drive extremely slow
- The motorbikers the only light they have working is the one on their cell phones
- The motorbikers who cut out in front of you on a red traffic light and when it turns green, they put their Harley in gear and it shutsdown with you right on her tail
- The motorbikers who insist that you're the one who should be watching, they have the right to suddenly swing from one side of the road to the other as and when they like
- The car drivers who drive into an intersection after the traffic light turns red

I apologise to all Karachi drivers minus the ones that fit in any of the above categories, because, hey, what did you do to deserve to be left out of this list. This list is not comprehensive and exhaustive. If you cant fit yourself into this list, know that there is an implicit "include all" at the end, so dont be sad that you were denied the title that everyone else got towards the beginning of this post. Driving in this city, I wish I were driving a tank.

No comments: