Van powered by CNG

On yesterday's trip, we traveled on a rented chauffeur driven, Nissan Caravan. I didn't get the make year, but here's the interesting thing. The 9-seater van was running on CNG. That, with the airconditioner running full speed ahead. For a vehicle on CNG, it was running quite well. We could never have guessed its fuel source, until the driver stopped at a rest stop on the motorway and headed towards the CNG station. We thought such vans were almost invariably on diesel. I guess rising diesel prices have made the switch over to CNG cost effective. For a CNG-driven vehicle, it was running pretty nicely.

Speed breakers on Lahore Ring Road

I had earlier blogged about the dangerous U-turns on Lahore Ring Road. Yesterday, during the trip to Namal College, I noticed something else. This time, unlike my previous outings on the Ring Road (on my way to Sialkot), we did not get off the Ring Road near the Ravi bridge to head on to GT Road. Instead, we went on towards the Motorway. We were obviously travelling fast when all of a sudden the driver noticed a speed breaker. He braked hard and managed to avoid a dangerous take off. We noticed several speed breakers along the way on our return trip at night. Wouldn't these cause road safety issues? I know that otherwise pedestrians would be endangered, but they aren't using the overhead pedestrian walkways anyway, and not adhering to crossing the road near the speed breaker.

Meeting with a celebrity

I was teaching a class at N.E.D. University when I touched upon the matter of priorities and keeping things within the limits that they deserve. For instance, there could be a really great actor, you might really like him/her for the wonderful acting. But don't take it out of proportions and make a god out of it. Don't idolize him/her and start imagining that he/she is all good and no evil. More importantly, don't disrupt your own life over him/her. Studies, work etc all should have priority over that cricket match, or that movie.

A student of mine at that time asked me, "Sir, who's your hero?" My hero, I told him, are my students. Nothing pleases me more than seeing them go out in the field and making a name for themselves and making achievements. I stand by that thought to date.
However, there is one person who I really really regard highly. I met the great Khan himself in person yesterday. It's obviously not Genghis Khan, and definitely not your favorite lollywood Khan. I don't give a rat's ass about the latter. It was Imran Khan.

A few of my friends have been working with Namal College, an affiliate college of the Bradford University. There were several obvious ways in which we could help Namal College. The first, is by assisting some of their relatively less experienced faculty members with academic planning. The second, is that all of their faculty members are bound to enroll in a PhD program at Bradford University, we could help them gain from whatever experience we've had being graduate students. Thirdly, we can help Namal students capacity building by offering workshops, seminars and guest lectures. A group of my fellow PhD students at LUMS have been contributing towards at all of these efforts. I've also contributed a little bit. I think we are trying to do a little bit of our dutiful contribution to society.

Namal College faculty and administration have always shown a lot of gratitude to us for working with them. Recently, Namal College joined the Cisco Networking Academy program, and launched Bachelors degree programs in Electrical and Electronics Engineering. Yesterday, they had the launching ceremony and we were
invited.



So, four of us set off from LUMS at 8:30 am. On the map, LUMS is the marker A and Namal College is the marker B. I haven't highlighted the route, but we took to the Lahore-Islamabad Motorway, M-2, exitted at Balkasar interchange and headed through Talaganag on to Namal. It took us about 6 hours and thirty minutes to get to Namal. Along the way, the inflight entertainment consisted of screening of the movie, "The Pink Panther" on Zeeshan's laptop.


Along the way, we ate at a restaurant, which is said to be famous for its daal. Rumour has it that whenever Imran Khan travels on that route, he eats at this restaurant. Well, he was obviously not there when we arrived because he'd be busy with meetings at Namal College at that time.

Well, we had our daal and ate it, too. In this photo, you can see me and Junaid on the right handside and Zeeshan flanked by the driver (the latter enjoying a smoke). This, by the way, is several "garaibees" after our arrival.

The daal itself was tasty and the desi ghee tarka on top was amazing. Towards the end of the meal I discovered that the achaar served along with the daal went really well with the daal.

After doing justice to the daal, we went on to add our fellow PhD student, Malik Jahan to the caravan. Malik lives in the area. We stopped at a Masjid and prayed zuhr. It's fun having to pray only two rakat when traveling.

After the prayers we went straight to Namal College. When we arrived, we were greeted very warmly by the Vice Chancellor, Deputy Vice Chancellor, Director Administration, Faculty members and Namal College board members Dr. Arif Nazir Butt, Mr. Abdur Razzaq Dawood and Aleema Khan (Imran Khan's sister). While we were having chit chat with the Deputy Vice Chancellor, talking about our trip, the great Khan emerged out of the conference room. It is hard to describe his charisma and how one feels humbled in his presence. For a moment, I couldn't decide if it would be fitting for a mere mortal like myself to say Assalamo alaikum to him, but I did. Dr. Arif Nazir Butt introduced us to Imran by telling him that we were the LUMS students who have been working with Namal voluntarily. Imran immediately smiled and shook our hands, said Assalamo alaikum and asked us how we were. I had been imagining how shaking his hand would be. I had been thinking if I'd say to him, "A great fan." But I think that is meaningless. He doesn't need to know that. It's already understood. What did that handshake feel like? Was that a soft hand or a tough hand? Funny thing is, I can't remember it at all. The awe was all too much.

After that, he went on to do a press briefing before we all went to the canopy where the launching ceremony was to be held. There was a lovely breeze which sometimes managed to squeeze its way into the canopy. It was a bit warm in there and I was sweating slightly, but it's funny how I never noticed that until later. I guess I was still too awestruck.

After recitation from the Holy Quran, Dr. Irfan Awan, Vice Chancellor, Namal College delivered an introductory speech. He told the audience that Bradford University had other affiliate colleges, but Namal College was the first affiliate college established at an under-developed location. He talked about how this presented a unique opportunity to deliver education and transform the lives of people of rural areas. He mentioned that being an affiliate college meant that the college's operation as well as student assessment and performance was monitored strictly by Bradford University. He gave credit to the students for having stood out in this scrutiny by mentioning that Bradford staff had found Namal students to be at least at par with Bradford students and in some cases, even better.

Dr. Lucas, Deputy Vice Chancellor at Bradford University was the next speaker. He spoke instead of the Bradford's Vice Chancellor, apologizing on his behalf for not being able to attend the ceremony himself. Dr. Lucas echoed Dr. Irfan's praise of Namal College and it's students' performance. He said he wished if Bradford were at as picturesque a location as Namal College is. As you can see in this photograph, he wasn't exaggerating. The Namal Lake is right next to the Namal College.

Dr. Aamir Mateen, Country Manager, Cisco Systems praised the Namal College for its vision. He said that while his company had been a bit late to join the effort, he would do everything in his powers to help Namal College realize its vision. He promised to convince other major IT companies to enter into similar partnerships with Namal College. He also promised to assist Namal College students with internships at Cisco and other IT companies where he had personal or professional leverage. He also promised to help Namal College by sending Cisco employees to deliver guest lectures every once in a while, an offer he claimed that he had not made to any other Cisco Networking Academy in Pakistan.

As the Master of Ceremony put, next was the man himself. Imran Khan started by thanking Cisco for entering into a partnership with Namal College. He thanked Dr. Amir for taking personal interest in Namal College and for the promises he had made to help it. He described the vision of Namal College and thanked the Board members individually by name. He also thanked Dr. Arif Nazir Butt for all his efforts for Namal College. Can you guess whom he thanked next? He thanked us, the LUMS students who have been helping Namal College voluntarily. He wondered where we were in the audience and asked us to raise our hands. We complied to a big round of applause. Imran went on to thank the local people who had helped his vision by offering the land on which Namal College was built. He spoke of the plans for the college's future and how it was destined to nurture the future leadership of Pakistan.

After Imran's speech, the audience were requested to proceed to tea. Well, it was more than just tea, it was a quite proper lunch, if you ask me. I'm sure many delegates would have traveled to Namal College that day and it must've been a welcome sight for them. As for us, we'd already had lunch. After tea, Imran Khan talked a bit more to the media and was then surrounded by the students. He walked around with them and talked to them.

Meanwhile, we took a few photos. The first one shows the radio link tower put up very quickly by PTCL to get enhanced Internet bandwidth to Namal College, which will be quite useful for the Cisco Networking Academy program. The next photograph shows the main entrace to the College building. Imran Khan is standing in front talking to some students. The next picture shows us with Dr. Arif Nazir Butt (wearing the jacket) and Mr. Abid, who is a very hard working part of Namal College, Imran Khan Foundation and Shaukat Khanum Hospital. The last picture, of course, is us, with the Namal Lake in the background.

At 5:30 pm, we set off on our return to Lahore. We prayed asr at the same mosque where we had prayed zuhr. We, then said good bye to Malik Jahan who returned to his house nearby. After various stop overs for CNG, saying maghrib prayers and another stopover for a cup of tea, we arrived back at LUMS at about 11:45 pm.

We decided that it was too late to go home and wake someone up for dinner, so we decided to dine out. We went to the Red Apple restaurant at DHA, Lahore and had dinner together while watching news on the restaurant's TV. We then said good bye and went our separate ways home.

Boy it was quite a day. A day when I met a celebrity and shook hands with a hero who wasn't my student. Going isn't particularly easy for us Pakistanis to make achievements. However, when a Pakistani makes up his mind to do great things and works hard against all odds and is successful, I believe he/she should be appreciated. Especially if the success touches other people's lives and makes them somewhat easier to live.

I ask myself, will I see him again?

A monument with a stellar cost

According to this article, the Government of Pakistan has approved construction of a monument in honor of former Prime Minister, Benazir Bhutto. The cost is estimated at $11 Million.
According to a Daily Times news Item, the construction of the monument was challenged in Lahore High Court. Spread the word and advocate public opinion against this total waste of money at a time when the Government talks about austerity, the poor man is struggling to feed his family and one in every eight Pakistani is made homeless by the recent floods.

A new take on web searches

Well, it might not be new, but is as far as my limited knowledge is concerned. This report on Dawn points out that several search engines have sprung up on the web that are geared to not provide search results containing indecent content. These search engines are gaining in popularity and are developed and used not just by muslims but by people from other faiths as well.

End of a long tour

Pakistan team has returned from a four month long tour of England. Several things stand out from this tour.
I think that the first noteworthy point is Afridi's incompetence at captaincy. He's been in and out of captaincy and he's been playing cricket for a long time now. He should've learnt his lessons by now. Granted Pakistani fielding is not good, but he has thrown away bowling advantage over and over due to defensive tactics. Time and again, when the batting side can be taken under pressure, he has applied defensive tactics, concentrating on saving runs instead of attacking to take wickets.
Second, I think Shoaib Akhtar staged a nice comeback. I didn't expect much of him, but he bowled well out there. For the first time, I am of the opinion that he should be included in the side consistently. I think he has shown signs of maturity.
Thirdly, no need to even mention the childishness and unreasonably defensive response shown by Pakistan Cricket Board over reactions to as yet unproven match fixing allegations.

Upcoming Microsoft community events in Pakistan

Microsoft is bringing a community event to Pakistan. It is called Open Doors. It will be held in Karachi and Lahore next month, i.e., October. I'm contacting the source to update the dates, which seem to have changed (based on inside information). Stay tuned!

The idea behind Open Doors is to bring Microsoft Professional Developer Conference (PDC) and TechEd quality content to a wider community's doorsteps.

Research Assistant Position at LUMS

I received this advertisement today. Contact the mentioned email if the opportunity interests you. Pasting the adv below:

Research Position in Computer-Aided Diagnosis (CAD)
For a collaborative project with Dept. of Radiology, Shaukat Khanum Memorial Cancer Centre, we are seeking a highly motivated RA or Student RA to develop image processing and computer-aided diagnosis algorithms.

The ideal candidate will demonstrate a strong aptitude for problem solving in 3D image processing, along with a capacity to grasp the medical significance of this project. Highly motivated candidates lacking experience, but showing a keen willingness to learn, will be considered.

This is a compensated position, and demands at least a commitment of 20 hours per
week, and the ability to travel to SKMCC as required.

Pre-requisites: Willingness to learn or knowledge of programming and the basic notions of image processing. Excellent written and verbal communication skills.

Familiarity with human anatomy, computerized tomography or image processing will be
a plus.

Interested candidates should email their CVs to Dr. Usman Qazi, Biology,
(usmanqazi@lums.edu.pk) or Dr. Sultan Sial, Mathematics (ssial@lums.edu.pk).

Upbringing

I visited Dr. Iftikhar Waris' homeopathic clinic, Gulberg Homeopathic Clinic in Gulberg, Lahore, yesterday to get some medicine for my three years old. Whenever I go there, I see some interesting characters who are obviously living in some other country within the one that I live in. Women with short and see-through clothes are abundant. Dr. Iram Hassan's Hassan Medical Center beats Dr. Iftikhar's clinic, though. But that's besides the point.
Anyway, back to the point. A family came in as we were waiting for the medicine to be prepared. They had two servants to take care of their one and a half year old son. One was your typical mulazima, whose only duty was to tail the kid, pick him up if needed etc. The other one was probably looked like she belonged to the Phillipines. The way she interacted with the child in English made it quite obvious that she had been employed to teach him good manners typical of the western nations and missing in us uncivilized Pakistanis. I can personally relate to their concern for a spoilt child.
The climax, however, was when I discovered that their attempts at "the cure" weren't working for them either, just as mine aren't working for me. When the boy started protesting and crying over something, nothing worked. Neither the gentle words in English from the foreigner, nor the desi mulazimas words of love. I could not tell a difference between his behavior and that of my daughter when she was his age. Unfortunate! Well, I didn't have to spend as much as they do over a child that embarrasses you with his/her misbehavior in public.

Oh, the games they play

Mismanagement and corruption is a real menace. It is sad to see that an international games event, the Commonwealth Games is in such a huge mess. All this while, the powers that be had apparently been sleeping.

To fix or not to fix

Today's edition of The News carries this interesting news item. The item is based on a correspondent's conversation with former Pakistan test cricketer, Aamir Sohail. Aamir Sohail has done a really thorough and interesting analysis of the issue.
Aamir's analysis has strengthened my hunch that the Pakistani team is unfairly caught in a mess they did not create. According to Aamir, the whole thing is based on a war between legal and illegal bookies. He says that the former are pissed off that the latter are scooping up lots of their profits. The legal bookies, he mentions, pay taxes and sponsor cricketing events and are not happy at losing millions of Pounds (Sterlings, not in body weight).

Road Safety

It is good to know that some attention is being paid to safety on the Lahore Ring Road. See my earlier related post.

Really silly error

This morning, I found a really silly error in my simulator. It's part of a bug that I've been after for a long time. Finally, I think I've squashed that bug which has been causing random core dumps.

It turns out that in a collection of integers, when swapping two numbers, say a and b, I was doing the following:

temp = a;

a = b;

b = a;

Instead of the blatantly obvious:

temp = a;

a = b;

b = temp;

It is utterly unbelievable how such an error could have slipped my attention. Oh, well, us MVPs are also mere mortals after all.

iPhone vs BlackBerry

When buying a smartphone, one is often confronted with the option of whether to buy a BlackBerry or an iPhone. I have never owned one and it doesn't seem likely that I'll buy one in the near future, but I know of several people who own one or the other and I've often seen them compare their handsets. Based on their experiences, I've tried to summarize the comparison of these two options.

Based on the feedback I have received, Blackberry loses on almost all counts. The BlackBerry is not flexible in terms of email sources, whereas with the iPhone, you can pull emails from a variety of different commonly used email services. Furthermore, the iPhone has a much wider third party application market. This includes office productivity, communication and collaboration applications as well as games. For instance, you can easily install Skype on an iPhone. Many of these third party applications are free, too.

So, if you ask my advice on whether to buy an iPhone or a BlackBerry, I'd say go for an iPhone.

(Image courtesy puremobile.ca)

U-turns on Lahore Ring Road

I have recently traveled on the Lahore Ring Road on a couple of trips to Sialkot. I found it to be extremely useful. It helped us avoid terrible city traffic. Whereas, I used to take one and a half hours to reach Muridke, on the ring road, the travel time dropped to just fifty five minutes.

One concern that I had on the Lahore Ring Road, though, is that there are several locations for taking U-turns on it. For a road where there is little traffic and vehicles travel at speeds near 100 kph, U-turns can and will result in terrible accidents. Accidents due to vehicles taking U-turns will be much fewer in comparison to those caused by pedestrians and animal carts and other slow moving vehicles moving from one side of the road to the other. I believe that educating people is the only permanent solution, but the U-turns should also be shutdown. One in need of turning around can safely take the next exit, make a U-turn on the side road and then re-embark upon the Lahore Ring Road. I hope someone in some avenue of power gets a word.

IT ka-BOOM

The IT sector has lately bloomed creating lots of tech jobs in Pakistan. Foreign projects also brought diversified experience to Pakistani IT workers and added valuable expertise to their skillset. However, this report in today's edition of The News about a trend of foreign companies closing down their business in Pakistan is alarming.

Of course, it is not completely unexpected on two accounts. First, you need first class connectivity to the rest of the world. While Pakistan's Internet connectivity is several times better than what it used to be ten years ago, but it still can not be termed reliable and first class. The Internet connectivity business is not where it should be. Second, we can not guarantee uninterrupted business operation due to the prevalent and consistently deteriorating condition of law and order.

Unfortunately, proper heed has not been paid to these alarming conditions. One can only hope that some urgent attention will be paid to these trouble areas, soon. Otherwise, I'm afraid that the IT boom will go ka-BOOM.

World can't fully pay

According to US Special Representative for Pakistan and Afghanistan, the world can't fully pay for Pakistan floods disaster. But the fact of the matter is, believe it or not, Pakistanis alone are enough to take care of the whole mess.

Smuggling goes on through Nato’s NLC containers: SC - TheNews Internationl

An alarming report. Smuggling goes on through Nato’s NLC containers: SC.

Switching banks

I've been an unwilling National Bank of Pakistan customer for a long time. I'm primarily an ATM user, and their ATM is open 24 hours A YEAR. Forget about 1-Link services to access my account using a different bank's ATM, I have only been able to access my account through NBP's ATMs at only two other branches in Lahore a few times.

I've been unsatisfied with their service for years. I finally mustered the strength to make the switch today. I went to Standard Chartered Bank at DHA and opened an account with them. Start of a new banking era for me.

Sialkot water

Both of my parents were born in Sialkot. My father used to point out to me that most Mr. Pakistan title holders are from the Gujranwala district, which is where Sialkot is situated. He used to tell me that it is because the water in that district is very good. We used to notice how we start feeling hungry when we drink water in Sialkot whereas Karachi's water fills one's stomach leaving no appetite.

Yesterday, during my recent visit to Sialkot, I noticed how yellowish the water was. Alas, Sialkot's water, it seems, isn't what it used to be. The baltis, maggas and floors are stained yellowish. Lots of people fetch drinking water from a water filtration plant.

Who's in control

I am wondering, who is in control? Not philosophically, but in Pakistan. Is the President the ruler? Is the Prime Minister the ruler? How do I check? I guess if I asked them to get rid of the shortage of gasoline in the country for just one hour, if they were in control, they could do it. Or maybe at least for fifteen minutes. Heck, if they can get rid of the shortage for even one minute at will, I'd accept that they are in control. But they can't. So, who really is in charge?

jazba-e-qurbani

I was driving with my family from Sialkot to Lahore yesterday. During the road trip, I really noticed the spirit of sacrifice that the pedestrians displayed. They were really willing to sacrifice their life by coming in front of the traffic on G.T. Road.

73A, PK 302, Sep 16, 2010

After eid, on September 16, 2010, I traveled back to Lahore from Karachi on PIA's flight PK 302. I was assigned a window seat 73A. When I boarded the aircraft, the Boeing 747, I discovered that a girl was already sitting on the aisle seat next to mine. I requested her some room so that I could sit. She pointed to a different seat and requested if I could sit on that seat nearby instead. I suggested that the other seat might have been assigned to someone else. She requested if I could take that seat anyway until anyone comes to it. I agreed.
As I took the other seat, a group of women requested the crew to reassign their seating so that they wouldn't have to sit next to strange men and would sit together. I vacated the seat that I had temporarily occupied, so that the crew would get an accurate picture of what was available. After I had stood for a few minutes, the girl next to my originally assigned seat perhaps felt pity for me and asked me to take my original seat, 73A. I thanked her and took my seat. She then asked if I'd like to switch seats. I told her it was her call, I was equally OK with a window or aisle seat. She requested that we switch seats, and so we did.
During the flight, she kept nodding off to sleep for short intervals. Throughout the flight, I kept feeling sorry that she was in a naturally uncomfortable position. I wouldn't even look toward the window because it might look like I was looking at her. I squeezed myself into one side of the seat near the isle. I kept trying to muster enough strength to apologize to her for any inconvenience I must've caused her, but I was too nervous to do that. What if she thought "free honay key koshish ker raha hay"? Whenever I thought I had the strength to say it, she seemed to have drifted off to sleep. Whenever she would wake up, I'd lose my strength. Well, eventually, after the plane had landed, I spoke in a small voice, "I'm sorry, I made you uncomfortable during the flight." She nicely replied, "Oh, not at all."
It turned out, she was a really nice person. She asked me if I traveled to Lahore a lot. I told her that I don't travel often, but my parents live in Karachi and I've been living in Lahore because of my PhD studies. She asked me where I'm doing my PhD at and I told her that I'm going to LUMS. In reply, she asked me which subject I'm doing my PhD in, and I told her that I was doing a PhD in Computer Science.
Conscious as I was of not engaging her too much, I didn't say a word after that. Later on, I thought that there was nothing to be afraid of. She was a nice person and wouldn't have considered it odd if I asked her what she did. It would've made her feel a bit more at ease, perhaps. I guess it's too late now.
When the queue of passengers started moving off the plane, I asked her if she had a bag in the overhead compartment that she needed help with. She guided me towards her bag, which I took down for her. It wasn't too heavy or anything. I was in front of her in the queue of passengers getting off the plane when I spotted a couple of bags belonging to my parents in an overhead compartment (my parents were also traveling on the same flight). I squeezed into a seat row to allow her move on before I took those two bags. She insisted that I go ahead before her, but I suggested otherwise. The two bags were a bit heavy and I didn't want her to wait on my account. And that was that.
Pretty ordinary stuff for most people, but for me, it's been a while since I've met a girl who is nice. Most girls I see these days are, for lack of a nice word, bitchy. And to think that I didn't even ask her name, or tell her mine. All I said when parting was that it was nice to meet her, and that wasn't a formality. It certainly was very nice to meet her.

Imran Khan Foundation

I haven't yet blogged about the catastrophic disasters caused by the recent floods in Pakistan. A disaster of such proportions mandates a huge rehabilitation effort. Unfortunately, our government's reputation apropos corruption means that potential donors are reluctant to give. This creates a huge void.
The only ray of light in this sad situation is Imran Khan. A figure who may have political foes, but no one disputes his integrity and ability to spearhead a massive relief operation. Imran Khan has founded a platform called Imran Khan Foundation to handle the flood relief efforts. Imran Khan Foundation will be dispatching a convoy consisting of hundreds of trucks to the flood affected areas tomorrow. This event will be televised during the Telethon on Geo TV.
Imran Khan Foundation is on twitter, has a Facebook page, and their website is coming up soon. For potential donors abroad, IKF already have a US chapter with an active website. The website has all information to enable you to give to IKF using cheques, Paypal or credit cards. Help out and spread the word!

Hooo Aaaaah

Many thanks to Muhammad Safdar Iqbal for pointing this out. It feels good to be noticed, recognized and appreciated.

Transformers 3

Yes, these are three transformers. Compare the desi transformer with the other two. The desi one is so ugly and the foreigner transformers are so cute. I pulled the foreigners out of a computer's power supply. I don't know what their rating is or how I might be able to reuse them, yet.

uncalled for

This guy is telling that guy to not make comments on cricket? (and concentrate on coaching)
What a shame!

Food for thought

Some food for thought for the young aspiring leaders of not only organizations in our country but also of the country itself.
I was reflecting the other day how our political "leaders" and other "leaders" get pissed off when asked probing questions by the journalists. While sometimes the latter can be bitchy, the former are in the limelight, and they should be prepared and accepting of the questioning. People have the right to ask questions of you. At least feel privileged, because no one asks those who don't matter.
The other day, PCB Chair, Mr. Ijaz Butt was visibly and clearly out of control when addressing the media. Come on, old chap, our nation is sensitive about cricket, with the kind of performance by our country's team over the years, you should expect to be asked stinging questions.
On a related note, I noticed how Mr. Ijaz was insisting that he was doing everything according to the PCB's question. Notice how the leaders of the organizations and of our country, for that matter, contend that they are not doing anything wrong. The leader might as well not be corrupt, might follow all rules and regulations, but if the organization is not functioning properly, in our nation, the leader does not take the blame. In case of a train wreck, a few linemen are shown the door.

I guess they feel their responsibility ends at doing the right thing themselves. That is not the case, leaders of today and those of tomorrow. Your responsibility, as a leader is to ensure that your organization functions correctly. Most other nations realize this. Think about it.

Taxonomy of a Secular Mind

A couple of friends of mine authored this. I'm posting it here on their request:

Apologist: Is not one who survived Apollo 13.
Mullah apologist: Is one who disagrees with me and asks different questions.
Intellectual: Is one who agrees with me and asks the same questions that I do.
Religion: A flogging, stoning, amputating ... movement started about 1400 years ago (reference: Pervez Hoodhbhoy's talk "Why we are not a nation and how can we become one")
Rational: Anything against religion (as defined above).
Irrational: Everything else.
Faith: Accepting irrational (defined above) as true. Axioms of science are exempted.
Science: Accepting rational (defined above) as true.
Blind faith: Faith (defined above) of mullah apologist (defined above).
Scientific: Anything I can observe (even if in imagination) or another intellectual (defined above) can, and no one else.
Respecting opinion: Accepting everything rational (defined above), and ridiculing everything else.
Taliban: Should be brutally killed.
Democracy: (Imported from double speak) Anything a secular person says. PS: Double speak implies if a secular contradicts two definitions of democracy, then both are true but only one is applicable which is rational (defined above) in course of argument at that time.

To oversee or to overlook?

I've seen this mistake several times. This time around, I saw it when I accidentally bumped into a resume of someone who had done an O levels from Beaconhouse School, A levels from Lahore Grammar School and a BSc Honors from LUMS. She says that she "overlooked placements and internships of students." I believe the correct term would be to "oversee placements."

South Africa keen to host series

South Africa are keen to host Pakistan's "home" series against them. Who wouldn't! Consider all the money they would make. The least of which will be the forex that the team will take with them. Hotel costs, shopping, hanging out, etc. And we have plentiful forex as a nation to plounder.
With the current performance, I think the players should be asked to pull their own weight, or at least some of it, until they start to show results. Slap the tour expenses on them for a change.

Doodh key nehrain

Here's to those who ask what the reposed CJ has done. To those who contested the reposing of wrongfully deposed judges wouldn't cause flow of milk streams, you missed the whole point. The point was that wrongful injustice has been done by those in power for way too long. It was a symbolic struggle to say, enough is enough.

Comparing

So, I guess the new idiom would be "comparing apples and googles?"

Duh!!!!

TV Remote tester

Fatima keeps throwing or dropping the TV remote. She also keeps taking it apart from time to time. I believe we've had four or five remote changes over the last one year or so. The TV wouldn't turn on last week. It's a monitor-turned-TV which does not have buttons to change channels and stuff. I found that a component lead in the remote was broken. Tried to fix it but it didn't work. Couldn't decide if it was a faulty TV or faulty remote, so I set out to web search for TV remote testers.
I found several different DIY schematics, but the technique that I liked best was to view the remote through a camera. Point the remote at the camera, press a button and you should see a white LED flashing. The camera captures Infrared radiation. Simple and effective. The remote was broken. I bought a new one. The TV was also at fault, the IR sensor in the TV had to be replaced.

Tax SMS

There's a thread these days on Telecom Grid Pakistan mailing list about the proposed 20 paisa per SMS tax. A poster hinted on how cheap SMS make them the ideal easy way of mobilizing a mob, for instance, in the long march case. The post as well as my reply are way off topic, so I'm posting a reply here.

May I suggest that roads, railways, and telecom are the enablers of growth and development. Branding SMS as the easiest mass mobilization instrument is a flawed argument. For that matter, cars and trucks have been used to carry explosives. Shall we ban them, too? Notice how this discussion is headed way off topic. Every facility has a way to be misused. You can't justify taxing it to lower the risk. Besides, if the government is going to play foul, they should be willing to see the mobs on the streets. To be fair, they haven't seen anything.
I would like to see a million percent tax on cigarettes, cigars, tobacco in general, paan, chewing gum. Those are non essential items. Instead of making wheat, onion and phone calls more expensive, tax these items by the millions of percent. These are luxuries, as are the beamers and the mercs. Oh, but the industrialists would halt that move fearing loss of revenue. We've seen several examples lately of when the ministers talked about rationalizing the prices of local cars (Suzuki Moron, for instance). What did we get? Nada.
Again, if the telecom sector fears loss of revenue, they'd try to fill a few pockets to scrap this bill. But the telecom sector, apparently, isn't doing well anyway.

I am wondering.......

I'm wondering! Some of the things are tested on the third world first. For example, WiMax. They've identified many deployment issues with the technology before they deploy it in the developed countries, if ever. New medicine are launched in third world countries. It helps identify side effects with no legal costs. Human cost in the third world does not count. Surgery related equipment similarly follows.
On the other hand, some things are not tried on us first. For instance, electricity market deregulation, whereby a consumer can purchase electricity from a number of different retailers. Markets for trading power are established. As far as I can tell, the idea originated in the UK. Am I wrong?
Please comment on what you think placing some innovation in one of the above categories.

Pop quiz (including solution)

Time is a relative term. Aging doesn't affect certain people as much as it does the rest of us, like Michael J. Fox, Tom Cruise and, of course, Bryan Adams. He was born November 5, 1959. So, here's the quiz: how old will he be on November 5, 2009?
50? Wrong answer. Haven't you heard "18 til I die"

Garbage characters in files

A friend of mine here at LUMS just told me of an issue he had last night. I thought I'd blog it down just in case someone else would tumble upon it.

His C++ program was writing to a file. While debugging the program, the file contained what he expected. But when the program closed, the file contained some garbage characters near the beginning before the meaningful data. He discovered that it was because he had opened the same file in the program twice.

Last night

This is a true story about what happened last night. It rained cats and dogs in Lahore last night. Hearing the sound of the rain, I immediately got in the mood for "it". We got out of the house and ran over to my car giggling as we got soaked. We drove over to a secluded place with no one around and got out of the car.
Soaking up the skin desperately hoping to ease the prickly heat. I ran my hands over her body at the front first and then the back and watched it get cleaned. I immediately got an idea. I got the shampoo out from under my car's seat and a rag. I washed the rag in the rain and applied some shampoo onto it. I washed her white body with the rag it starting at the top. Some vehicles started to go past us, and I was embarrassed but did not stop doing it. I had not washed my car in ages. What were you thinking you pervert?

Run to you

Bryan Adams is the best live performer ever. Check out his number "Run to you" on YouTube.

Lady finger

This lady finger in the palm of my hand is bigger than my fingers. It is amongst several other lady fingers that have been grown experimentally at LUMS. They have grown several other vegetables, too. Periodically, now, they hold a vegetable market in LUMS to sell vegetables at reduced prices to faculty members, staff and students.

1U

Did you know that 1U of rack space is equal to 1.75 inch or 4.45 cm?

You know....

You know ____________ when your landlord asks his kids to shower your car for you.

Chalo!

Lo g! It seems the saying "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach" is right (at least in this case).

What senior players?

Which senior players? I don't see any. I would call Muhammad Yousuf senior, he's not in the side. Shoaib Akhtar's performance is nill. It even makes me sad that he was the only one to grab the two fallen wickets in yesterday's match against the Australians. He's in, he's out. Wherever he is, he is not fit. Afridi gives 100% only in the commercials. You score 40 runs and you get cramps when fielding. I believe we should put down our feet and say, enough of this crap! We want sportsman who field and ball through the entire innings without getting tired no matter what you scored when batting. Other teams' players do it, why are ours not professional enough? It is time to pay heed to Imran Khan's warnings and take his suggestions into account. He is the only captain under whom Pakistani team has ever delivered even with a weak side.

Of vice and men

This may sound taboo or controversial, but I wanted to raise my voice against the exploitation by women of women and subsequent blaming it on us. Look at this. As I recall, it is women who are on the heels of the bridge the morning after the marriage and every day afterwards asking about "progress". They are the ones who encourage early births. And who gets the mention in the article? The "low-paid guard". Women, for goodness sake, get your act together.

Sad story

A LUMS student was killed in DHA Lahore. It is sad how the privileged class indulge in extortion of the lower classes on the basis of power earned through money and status. It all continues to go unchecked. Not only are the rich oblivious of the foul play of their children, but also, the poor and the middle class. I couldn't imagine leaving home without telling my mother, didn't fly a kite, didn't play cards, because my parents told me it was bad manners. But today, look at the maniacs on cars and bikes and on foot indulging in wheeling, speeding, sex, drugs and what not. All the time getting the ignorance or protection of their parents. We need vigilante.

Soracle? OraSun?

Oracle is going to acquire Sun.

MVP yet again

Yup! I am renewed as an MVP for 2009. All the hard work in the community has paid off yet again. Just gotta work harder to keep it up.

My blog is still useful

Turns out my blog is serving a purpose. A student in the lab right next to mine read this posting and contacted me. One of his friend's laptop had taken a dip in the water and he wanted to open it to dry. Turns out he heeded my warning of worn out screw heads in my aforementioned post and came to get the swiss army knife. Hehehe!

What an idiot!

Meet Mr. Ahsan Saleem. He's got a movement going on for "12th March - Virtual combined Asr(eve) Prayer for Solidarity of Pakistan." Anyone who reads it is thinking about a virtual jamaat. And that's exactly what the title implies. He claims, though, that it is a misunderstanding. What he claims he is talking about is supplicating together, making dua. I pointed out the obvious to him, but he just doesnt get it. People like this are misleading many simple minded folks, and there's plenty of them today, who want to oversimplify the religion. I mean, Islam is a religion of simplicity, but make no mistake, this isnt what it implies. Dont make up things on your own.

Return of the Tecra

I couldnt find time to write an update my Toshiba Tecra S2's surgery. I took it apart over the December 25, holiday. I used precision screwdrivers, which was a mistake. The other ones I had didnt fit the screws, because the screwdriver tips were too big. The precision set was so small that it damaged many screwheads. I took everything apart based on irisvista.com and was able to put it back together and it is still alive.
The "power surge on hub port" message didnt go away, though. I was still able to use the USB ports. I have no disabled the USB controller from Device Manager and am not getting the error messages and the system runs fine. There's just one problem: I think I didnt get it all put back tightly enough. Something seems to be lose. The system would just pause sometimes and I'd have to knock on it to get it to resume working. It's not too bad, though. I'm OK with it.

Take apart your Toshiba

Warning: Taking apart your laptop can kill it (permanently). I've killed an IBM Thinkpad once, I should know. I'm about to take apart my Toshiba sometime in the near future. Let's see how that goes. How do I know how to do it? The information is available at www.irisvista.com. Check it out!

Beggars can be choosers?

Beggars can be choosers? Wow, that's a new one!

what?

This is so unfair to the pakistani spectators. In return pcb should pay every pakistani household 3 years TV license fees and electricity bills for watching games at horme on tv instead of stadium.

Good grief

What a grieving widower! Sure he'd have (loved to) embraced her.

What a price

What?

Who's lying now?

Who's lying now? This guy, or this guy? One of them definitely has a fame for lying. Guess who!

Kyoon?

Kyoon bay! Nervous ho gaya kya?

Choppers hunting

We were short of choppers for rescue missions after the earthquake, but hunting is a more important use of these machines.

Pet lion

Reportedly, a man in Houston, Texas, recently badly affected by hurricane Ike had a pet lion. He's taken shelter in a Baptist church with his pet and rescue workers arent going in, because they "know where he(the lion) is on the food chain."

Back scratching

It's hot these days and I've got slight prickly heat. Others are also talking about "you scratch my back, I scratch yours."

Insane president?

Yup! Long term psychiatric problems are a big plus for the job of PoP (President of Pakistan).

Hadith

"Agreements are not Hadith or Quran" says Asif Ali Bhutto Zardari. However, I remind him the characteristics of a munafiq.
And why is it that our Prime Minister needs an advisor on Religious Affairs? I thought he was a "Syed" himself. Oh, I guess he's one of those Syeds who are Syed for a different reason.

Rubbish

Rubbish, it is!

Pour some milk in that pond

Story credit of a certain magazine that I saw lying in the pantry in our department.
Once upon a time, long long ago, there was a king. I'm sure he had a queen and princes and princesses, too, but that's not the point. He built a pond at the center of the city and ordered his people to all come and pour a glass of milk in that pond each night. Now, there either was no electricity around at that time, or the city was on the WAPDA grid, so when you went to the pond at night, you couldnt see a thing. Anyway, the order was given. Next morning, the king ordered his interior minister to go and see the pond, and told him, "I assure you, you will see nothing but water in the pond." Sure enough, when the minister got to the pond, there was nothing but water in it. Not a drop of milk. Everyone thought someone else would pour milk in it. Everyone thought if they poured water in the pond, it wouldnt make a difference. Hell, they thought if they poured milk in the pond, it wouldnt make a difference either.
That's how we are today. We are convinced that if I do the right thing, what good will it do. It wouldnt change a thing. It wouldnt make a difference. But I say to myself before I say to you, pour some milk into that pond.

Losing ground

In kay to pairon k neechay say zameen chalee gaee. Here are some actual party principles and mnifestos.
PML-Q: Musharraf, Musharraf, Musharraf....... Oops, no more.
PPP: Shaheed Zulfiqar Ali Buhtto gave his life for ...., Shaheed Benazir Bhutto gave her life for ..... Let's change the names of airports, hospitals, roads. Hell, let's name each town in the country after her. What the hell, let's name the country Benazir. That's sure to bring prosperity to the country. If it doesnt, well, we'll find something else to rename, or perhaps some other shaheed. Who's next?

Is that true?

No Chouhdry sahib, he hasnt proven to be a true Pakistani. He has proven to be, perhaps, a true Turk. True Pakistanis never leave the seat of power willingly.

Are you kidding me?

"Ethically wrong" to continue? What the hell is that? Yeah, you better run because now there's no one to protect your wrong doings, and you're not retired from the forces.

Sign it, baby!

Sign this now!

Profit

A few days ago Shell announced dividends to its share holders that were 625% higher than last time. Can you imagine that? How much profit they are making. And that cant be "trickled down" to us? Oil prices are declining worldwide and yet we suffer and this happens.
"In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king." from the movie Minority Report.

Warning

Mark my words! With that Honda City, Toyota Corolla, Hyundai Santro, or Cultus or whatever that you bought on financing/lease, and that credit card that you've been spending off, and that trend increasing in popularity, the day is not far when this will be commonplace for us. But you will not quit, you will not heed this warning or any other.

Smart

The imposition of emergency last year was understamped by the COAS. Now, I reckon you cant challenge that in a civil court, because it wasnt an act of the PoP. Military personnel are above civilian law.

Deja Vu?

They are at it again! Unlike the last extraditee, I'm sure this one wouldnt be dumped in Saudi Arabia, for sure, if at all, that is.

Take 'em away boys

We're at it again! Who's responsible for countering smuggling? If no one is, I'm afraid we'd be sitting out on the streets soon because everything would be smuggled to Afghanistan.

A dog changes its bark tone when in presence of master

These are our Syeds and our Makhdooms:
Gillani, July 30, 2008: "Sovereignty guarantee not needed".
Gillani, August 1, 2008: "Talks focussed on respect for sovereignty".

Reconstruction

Atta boy! Keep it up!

Kill him!

Atta, boy! That's how nations who have some grace in them act. This is how apologetic ones behave! Almost even before someone claims anything on one of our own, we met out the death sentence to our guys. I guess that should send a strong enough message to anyone wanting to contribute anything to this nation. At least that's what the plan of "those who matter" is.

Powerful

Yes, he's right! He's probably groomed them, too. Enough Mush talk, Fazloo, shut up already.

Dont expect instant miracles

Oh, really! It's as easy for you to ask people not to expect miracles now as it was for you to promise a miracle before the elections. Hey, Mr! Guess what! We knew exactly what to expect right from the beginning.

Such ulema

Such are our uleman. Fazloo and his flock of kiss asses. If they cant figure out how important the justice system is for the survival of society based on sayings and practices of the best governments in the history of mankind, at Madina and elsewhere, frankly, their knowledge reminds of the books loaded on the donkey metaphor.

VIP culture

Yup, I'm sure he's serious about abolishing VIP culture. Wait a minute! What am I saying? The guys is the second biggest beneficiary of VIP culture in the entire world. Why second, you ask? I can bet you no nation can beat our VIP culture. We proudly uphold it. When the VIP comes to town, we lay down the lives of our critically ill on their way to the hospitals, while traffic is blocked to make way for those who are necessary for the existence and survival of my country. We power our VIPs' residences from three different grids to ensure continued power supply, while a peon in my office sacrificed his infant daughter's life of a few weeks because there was no power at the hospital when a critical operation was supposed to take place on her. Later, she developed pnuemonia and it was impossible to carry out the operation. She laid down her short life for our VIPs. But we're a mighty great nation. She's just one in millions of people who do this every day.
OK, so now that we have ascertained that our VIPs are at the top of the list, then why is this loser number two on our list of VIPs? Hmmmm, there's another one who tops this guy. Go figure! Need some hints?
1. He's the only one in the entire country who knows what is right and what is wrong.
2. He's the ally and we're the enemies.
3. He claims to have sacrificed a lot for the country.
4. He claims to have given independence to a lot of sectors in the country.
You dumbo, you still cant figure it out. What a loser you are! You better watch out because the VIP culture may be coming to an end. Hmmmm. Wait a minute! This same loser promised relief to the people, and we got a "whole lot of relief." And the "relief" will keep increasing. This is the same guy who promised restoration of judiciary and still hasnt delivered. Well, at least he's paying their bills. So, I guess you're likely to be safe. If this loser's performance is anything to guess from, I'd bet VIP culture is only going to grow.

Sweeping moves

Such sweeping moves our ruling criminals make! Pardon off all and sundry (give or take a few) under National "Resurrection" Ordinance. Convert all death sentences to life sentences. Sure, sweeping moves across the board benefits. Do you see sweeping moves in other non-criminal-benefiting areas?
1. Abolish electricity bills for people below poverty line? Nope
2. Free flour for all the poor? No, sir
They did promise scholarships and free books etc to send kids to school, but that's because the "bosses" wanted to keep the kids away from the madressahs.
I dont know whether I should blame the idiots who voted for the arrow because of the "martyr for democracy" or blame myself for not having voted for anyone. But wait, cant blame me. I'm out of the town where my vote is registered, and where my vote is registered, it's already been cast (in absentia) in wins by record margins. What a facility!

Of birds and garbage

Strict measures for housing schemes near planned new Islamabad airport. All based on possibilities of bird hits for aircraft due to garbage dumps. Shouldnt garbage management be across the board and not just around airports for the elite?

You gotta be kiddin' me

Relief for the masses? You gotta be kiddin' me! Hey, we've been promised that too many times by too many faces. We know exactly what's coming. Dont you?

He did it!

If you ask Shortcut Aziz about this, he'll say it was all due to the careless caretaker government.

When will you quit lying

Sure! That gives us the much needed "relief" that you had been promising. Stop lying already, you a-holes.

Hang these criminals

I feel sick and angry. My eyes are filled with tears after reading this news item and I wish I could wipe it out of my mind. Such cruel bastards, these killers. Images of that boy cant stop running through my mind, as acid is poured into his ears, mouth and other parts of his body. How can one be so cruel. And all that over the dispute of not letting an @$$hole cross over your roof to burn someone's pigeons.
And our present "democratic" government is moving forward with banishing capital punishment. Barbarians like these must be hanged to death. There's no cure for these criminals. There's the chance criminal who makes a mistake and then feels sorry for his crime, and then there are bastards like these, who do it with pleasure. There should be no mercy for them. And since you cant tell the difference between the two types, it should be the same across the board, so that society gets rid of the willfull criminal and if any one is tempted to commit a crime, he would shudder at the consequences. But as it stands, there is no justice in our society and the present regime is striving to spread injustice even further. Why wouldnt they, they are themselves founded on the basis of illegality. The sooner we get rid of them, the better, because there's no way you can block them through the parliament. And you thought, let's participate in the elections and then we'll restore the judiciary through the parliament. I hope you're disillusioned already.

Sharp shooting

Hurray! Ch Pervaiz Ilahi's traffic wardens in Lahore are human, too. I thought they said they were courteous. Maybe this particular warden was executing a courtesy to the rest of the traffic by getting rid of a bad driver. Street justice. Hmmmm. Wanna let me join you, too, brother? I get lots of such opportunities everyday. Together we can make our roads safe in no time at all.

The victim or the victimizer

In our society, with no rule of law, you can either be the victim or the victimizer. Nothing in between. Take this incident for example. The only cause of this and so many other incidents is that there is no rule of law. There is no fear of punishment for wrongdoings in any group of the society. Those who realize this capitalize on this "freedom" and choose to be the victimizers rather than the victim. It's as simple as that. And Salman Taseer thinks justice is not the masses' problem, food, electricity etc is. My dear jackass, if there was ever any form of justice in this society, these problems wouldnt exist. The only politician who bases himself on this principle is Imran Khan.

Ironic

It is ironic how in the Indian subcontinent, conviction can lead to entry into politics.

Prince trophy

Seen the new Prince Biscuits adv on TV? The one that shows a boy lose his trophy to a flying monster. Prince arrives promptly and throws the boy a biscuit. The adv asks you to write a story telling how the boy and the Prince would reclaim the trophy. You want a story? Here's a story for you.

Eating the biscuit, the boy spots a police mobile coming up. He motions for them to stop. The boy tells them his story. The police laugh at the boy and arrest him. The Prince manages to escape on a horse. While the police hold the boy in illegal confinement, torturing him, they are hoping for his parents to come and claim him so that they can extort some money from them. The Prince calls Shahrukh Khan to intervene, who calls President Musharraf, who calls the police station, and the boy is released and sent straight to a hospital.
The Prince stays with the boy as he spends six months recuperating. Once the boy has recovered, they swear to reclaim the lost trophy and head for the hills where the monster lives.

Complete the story and send it in for a prize if you want. Me, I'll just hope that Shahrukh Khan or the Saudi President calls President Musharraf to help solve the following problems: outrageously unreal property prices, outrageously unreal property rental charges, outrageously unreal UPS prices and shortage, outrageously unreal battery prices and shortage, outrageously unreal floor prices and shortage, outrageously unreal everything else prices and shortage, justice in general, power crises, outrageously unreal school fess etc.

An important breakthrough

Finally, an important breakthrough. This will definitely help immediately solve the electric power crisis, bring down the prices of petrol, CNG, and all food items as well as miraculously remove the flour shortage.

Muhabbat-e-Rasool ka taqaza

This morning while driving to LUMS, I noticed that some @$$hole has pasted a "Muhabbat-e-Rasool ka taqaza" sticker on the rear widnshield of my car. Well, jackasses who are doing this, other people's property is not your billboard to paste posters on. Nor is causing people the trouble of scrapping off stickers from windscreens a "mohabbat-e-rasool ka taqaza."

They find out who's responsible

Well, they've found out who's responsible for their losses. But then, again, they've always given credit for everything to him. "Iss ka credit president saab ko jata hay. (Hum to minister bun ker bhaarh jhonk rahay hain)."

300 spartans!

Just 200? In my opinion, they'll need at least 300 spartans.

Why not!

Sure, why not!

I think......

This is what he predicts. And why not! What good are the pre-stamped ballot papers, otherwise?

Geo Musharraf

Geo Musharraf!